Procrastination, Consistency & Motivation

[daisysheldon]

Hey everyone! 

I am looking for some advice on here about Procrastination, Consistency & Motivation - I have at times in the past had a great movement practise but am currently really struggling to do the practises every day, especially as it is more self led rather than a guided follow along.

Would so appreciate any tips and advice to help with this!

Thank you.

[Kit_L]

What do you want? IOW, what do you want out of the movement practise? If you can be clear with yourself about what you want, people here might be able to help with suggestions.

I also recommend not doing any one thing every day, but instead do one of a number of things each day, and have a day off once a week where you just walk for pleasure.

[Gareth O Connor]

Perfectionism leads to procrastination.Maybe you don't want to do the practices everyday that's fine there's no absolute rule saying you should,set the bar lower it will take pressure off yourself and you can relax,you don't have to be perfect you can be human.There's days where I don't want to run,if I feel that way I don't run

[daisysheldon]

@Kit_L In terms of what I want - I would like to achieve my middle, front splits and pancake, as well as improve my backbend. Greatly welcoming any words of advice and wisdom!

[Kit_L]

Well, consider reading this:

https://kitlaughlin.com/forums/index.php?/topic/1570-the-secrets-of-stretching/

And, of all the attributes needed to "achieve my middle, front splits and pancake, as well as improve my backbend", consistency is #1.

Procrastination is self-sabotage, that's all. And there's no problem with that, either. This is why in my reply to you, I asked you, "What do you want?" If you understand this question at a deep level, you're on your way. No other advice will be needed, or helpful.

Re. front splits: do the long lunge twice a week; I will link you to Emmet Louis's explanation (he was a student of mine for a long while, and we talk regularly) below.

In the bigger picture, the hip flexors are the key to both the front splits and all backward bending. Go to our YouTube channel (kit laughlin) and search on "quads and hip flexors". All the best ones are there, free. Do only twice a week.

 

Keep the hips square, and tuck your tail, flexing the glute on the back leg to do this.

[Kit_L]

I should add that the long lunge does not have to be done while balancing, as Elise is. One finger vertically on a picnic table alongside me to keep balance is what I do, and holding for time in the deepest position is the way to progress this. All adjustments to squareness and tail tuck must be done before the deepest position is reached (you will not be able to make these adjustments once there). There is a lot of work that can be done in the position, too; I will make a video of my own on this, soon.

[daisysheldon]

On 1/14/2025 at 11:31 PM, Kit_L said:

Well, consider reading this:

https://kitlaughlin.com/forums/index.php?/topic/1570-the-secrets-of-stretching/

And, of all the attributes needed to "achieve my middle, front splits and pancake, as well as improve my backbend", consistency is #1.

Procrastination is self-sabotage, that's all. And there's no problem with that, either. This is why in my reply to you, I asked you, "What do you want?" If you understand this question at a deep level, you're on your way. No other advice will be needed, or helpful.

Re. front splits: do the long lunge twice a week; I will link you to Emmet Louis's explanation (he was a student of mine for a long while, and we talk regularly) below.

In the bigger picture, the hip flexors are the key to both the front splits and all backward bending. Go to our YouTube channel (kit laughlin) and search on "quads and hip flexors". All the best ones are there, free. Do only twice a week.

 

Keep the hips square, and tuck your tail, flexing the glute on the back leg to do this.

Thank you! This is almost similar to the Standing Hip Flexor in the mastery course...

I notice when I do this sort of stretch my back ankle feels quite strained by all the weight and stretching in that area

[daisysheldon]

On 1/14/2025 at 9:22 AM, daisysheldon said:

@Kit_L In terms of what I want - I would like to achieve my middle, front splits and pancake, as well as improve my backbend. Greatly welcoming any words of advice and wisdom!

@Kit_L if you are working on multiple goals and the suggestion is 1-2 stretching sessions per week and mobility every day, how would you organise the stretching sessions-

Would it be like session 1 - backbends. Session 2 - legs (pancake, pike & front splits?) though that seems quite a lot!

[Gareth O Connor]

Trust your judgement 

[Kit_L]

19 hours ago, daisysheldon said:

This is almost similar to the Standing Hip Flexor in the mastery course...

It looks similar, but in the LL, the front leg's knee angle is significantly more open; this changes the leverages on both legs significantly. The LL is more of a strength exercise for most people, and this additional tension can be very effective in helping you to become more flexible. The back leg's foot will adapt to the effort, in time. If you can't support the position, you've gone too deep—so come out, rest, and try a second time, and support yourself as I suggested to take the balancing dimension out, and try a second time, not going as deep.

Session 1: Long lunge, concentrating on the back leg x 3; your choice of a quad-hip flexor stretch; passive back bend over something, half bridge (floor back bend while holding ankles); strongest version of the cobra pose. Can you do any form of the full bridge? This could take anywhere from 15' all the way to 45'.

Session 2: Wide-leg elephant walk (like the LL, THE pose to master for the pancake), the tailor pose, then standing side splits (feet forward, flat on floor first attempt, then a second try with legs fully externally rotated (so only your heels are pressing on the floor; hold yourself off the floor using tension in all working muscles for time, then try for maximum depth while relaxing as much as you can. Around 30'. 

Repeating any exercise will get you deeper in that session.

Try this for six weeks, take pictures so we can see where you're at, then we'll change the exercises.

These are simply suggestions—you have not mentioned where you are on the flexibility spectrum, what else is happening in your life, or how much time you can devote reliably to your practise, so we're flying blind here!

On the other four days, walk for 30' or do any of the related limbering exercises; one day off. Relaxation practise.

[daisysheldon]

On 2/1/2025 at 8:21 PM, Kit_L said:

It looks similar, but in the LL, the front leg's knee angle is significantly more open; this changes the leverages on both legs significantly. The LL is more of a strength exercise for most people, and this additional tension can be very effective in helping you to become more flexible. The back leg's foot will adapt to the effort, in time. If you can't support the position, you've gone too deep—so come out, rest, and try a second time, and support yourself as I suggested to take the balancing dimension out, and try a second time, not going as deep.

Session 1: Long lunge, concentrating on the back leg x 3; your choice of a quad-hip flexor stretch; passive back bend over something, half bridge (floor back bend while holding ankles); strongest version of the cobra pose. Can you do any form of the full bridge? This could take anywhere from 15' all the way to 45'.

Session 2: Wide-leg elephant walk (like the LL, THE pose to master for the pancake), the tailor pose, then standing side splits (feet forward, flat on floor first attempt, then a second try with legs fully externally rotated (so only your heels are pressing on the floor; hold yourself off the floor using tension in all working muscles for time, then try for maximum depth while relaxing as much as you can. Around 30'. 

Repeating any exercise will get you deeper in that session.

Try this for six weeks, take pictures so we can see where you're at, then we'll change the exercises.

These are simply suggestions—you have not mentioned where you are on the flexibility spectrum, what else is happening in your life, or how much time you can devote reliably to your practise, so we're flying blind here!

On the other four days, walk for 30' or do any of the related limbering exercises; one day off. Relaxation practise.

Thank you for the clarity on the differences with the LL!

 

Totally understand you are going in blind with not much info from me!

 

I did the session 1 today and have attached photos of where I am at (deepest stretch at the moment in all the photos)...

Quad hip flexor stretch I don't feel much, same with the half bridge (maybe because my arms are shorter and the logistics feel different in my body!)

Will try the session 2 in a few days and will send photos - I also attached one of tailor pose as this is super open for me (again I don't feel much stretch!)

 

Would love your feedback and advice re the photos and plan!

[Kit_L]

Thanks for sending these images. Do you have anyone who can partner you? I am out and about today, and will get back to you later today, but I can say that your hip flexors and quads are tight, and unlocking these is going to change everything. Your tailor pose is excellent; now lift your chest from that position, keep your spine completely straight, and use your arms to pull yourself forwards, pivoting only at the hips. More to come.

[daisysheldon]

On 2/5/2025 at 12:03 AM, Kit_L said:

Thanks for sending these images. Do you have anyone who can partner you? I am out and about today, and will get back to you later today, but I can say that your hip flexors and quads are tight, and unlocking these is going to change everything. Your tailor pose is excellent; now lift your chest from that position, keep your spine completely straight, and use your arms to pull yourself forwards, pivoting only at the hips. More to come.

Not regularly in terms of a partner - to be honest I feel nervous about a partner stretching me because I have an old hamstring tendon injury. Also, I feel a bit confused by the partner stretching because I think at some point in your first programme you said specifically not to stretch with a partner because they aren't in your body - hence the prevention of injuries. Would be curious to hear your thoughts and if it can be done without a partner.

Yes my hip flexors are tight - will keep doing the LL! The quad stretch I did with my toe against the wall I didn't feel much at all - is there a quad stretch you would recommend from the course?

Great, I will try the tailor pose with your suggestions tomorrow!

[Kit_L]

5 hours ago, daisysheldon said:

I think at some point in your first programme you said specifically not to stretch with a partner because they aren't in your body - hence the prevention of injuries.

I would very much appreciate being linked to this quote (which program and time stamp, if you can); because all of our modern partner exercises, without exception, the stretchee (person being stretched) 100% controls of the depth of the stretch.

For example, in the partner hip flexor stretch we are talking about, your partner is sitting passively on your back leg holding the ankle and you are supporting all of your weight on both arms on the inside of your front leg; your arms control the stretch completely.

What we do on workshops is we ask the partner to sit on the back leg, gently and slowly while you are holding yourself away from the floor with your arms. Then we ask the person being stretched to press back with the arms to show the body that the stretch can be unloaded instantly – and this means that you are completely in control of the stretch. Then you relax some of the arm effort to get a sense of what the stretch will feel like.

And conversely, if you want more intensity, you pull your hands back towards your hips against the friction of the floor – here you are using your lats to add to your partner's weight to increase the intensity of the hip flexor stretch. You won't be doing that on the first repetition of course!

The paradox here is that you will be looking for a heavier partner much more quickly than you think you will before you try it. Using someone's passive weight in this way (when you have just shown the brain that the stretch itself is safe because you can press yourself out of it so easily), completely changes the dynamic of it. All of our modern partner stretches use similar techniques. The partner HF stretch is one of the safest. You and only you will be in control of the intensity of the stretch. The last and perhaps most important point is that none of the solo stretches can come close to the intensity and effectiveness of the partner version, just because once you have done the contractions, apart from the small effort in your arms, you can relax the whole of the rest of the body completely.

[daisysheldon]

On 2/5/2025 at 12:03 AM, Kit_L said:

Thanks for sending these images. Do you have anyone who can partner you? I am out and about today, and will get back to you later today, but I can say that your hip flexors and quads are tight, and unlocking these is going to change everything. Your tailor pose is excellent; now lift your chest from that position, keep your spine completely straight, and use your arms to pull yourself forwards, pivoting only at the hips. More to come.

Hi Kit, as promised here are the photos from my Session 2 you suggested!

It was hard to balance with the standing side splits (if you can even call mine that yet!) and toes up, so I used a chair for balance.

[daisysheldon]

11 hours ago, Kit_L said:

I would very much appreciate being linked to this quote (which program and time stamp, if you can); because all of our modern partner exercises, without exception, the stretchee (person being stretched) 100% controls of the depth of the stretch.

For example, in the partner hip flexor stretch we are talking about, your partner is sitting passively on your back leg holding the ankle and you are supporting all of your weight on both arms on the inside of your front leg; your arms control the stretch completely.

What we do on workshops is we ask the partner to sit on the back leg, gently and slowly while you are holding yourself away from the floor with your arms. Then we ask the person being stretched to press back with the arms to show the body that the stretch can be unloaded instantly – and this means that you are completely in control of the stretch. Then you relax some of the arm effort to get a sense of what the stretch will feel like.

And conversely, if you want more intensity, you pull your hands back towards your hips against the friction of the floor – here you are using your lats to add to your partner's weight to increase the intensity of the hip flexor stretch. You won't be doing that on the first repetition of course!

The paradox here is that you will be looking for a heavier partner much more quickly than you think you will before you try it. Using someone's passive weight in this way (when you have just shown the brain that the stretch itself is safe because you can press yourself out of it so easily), completely changes the dynamic of it. All of our modern partner stretches use similar techniques. The partner HF stretch is one of the safest. You and only you will be in control of the intensity of the stretch. The last and perhaps most important point is that none of the solo stretches can come close to the intensity and effectiveness of the partner version, just because once you have done the contractions, apart from the small effort in your arms, you can relax the whole of the rest of the body completely.

I had a look to see if I could find it for you and had no luck.

Maybe I misheard you somewhere, but I do remember specifically feeling relieved that you mentioned about not using partners because of my fear of getting injured.

If I find it I will let you know.

 

That makes sense - can this work also with a heavy bolster?

[Jim Pickles]

Can I add my views on partner stretching? I’ve been using and teaching the ST system for a couple of decades now. In some places I find partner stretching useful, in others not.

As Kit says, “because all of our modern partner exercises, without exception, the stretchee (person being stretched) 100% controls of the depth of the stretch.”

Yes, entirely, but it is not always possible to be confident that this happens.

One reason for using partner stretching, is that it is fun. It makes social contact, and also allows the person applying the stretch (the stretcher) to feel through tactile feedback what is going on in the stretchee’s body – and this is very educational, because the stretchee (the person being stretched) may be getting so many sensations at once, that they find it difficult to sort out exactly what is going on.

The excercises that I find NOT useful for partner stretches can I think be summarised as being the simple stretch of a single muscle or associated group of muscles. For instance, hamstring stretches. The stretchee on their own can apply as much force as needed (and indeed, easily too much) in these stretches. I find partner stretching counterproductive in these types of stretches. One issue is that the stretchee may worry about too much force being applied, no matter how good the partner feedback is.

The exercises where I find partner stretching USEFUL, seem to be those that involve complex joints, many muscles, and probably have a large fascia component. A great example is the hip flexor stretch – a complex joint, many muscles, a large fascia component. Also backbends (ALWAYS supported, so stop the spine crunching). This stretches the whole of the front of the body in a way that you cannot do on your own. And many more.

When we do these types of stretches in class, the members always enjoy them.

Jim.

[daisysheldon]

On 2/5/2025 at 12:03 AM, Kit_L said:

Thanks for sending these images. Do you have anyone who can partner you? I am out and about today, and will get back to you later today, but I can say that your hip flexors and quads are tight, and unlocking these is going to change everything. Your tailor pose is excellent; now lift your chest from that position, keep your spine completely straight, and use your arms to pull yourself forwards, pivoting only at the hips. More to come.

This one didnt add! Tailbone is tilted back here 

[daisysheldon]

6 hours ago, Jim Pickles said:

Can I add my views on partner stretching? I’ve been using and teaching the ST system for a couple of decades now. In some places I find partner stretching useful, in others not.

As Kit says, “because all of our modern partner exercises, without exception, the stretchee (person being stretched) 100% controls of the depth of the stretch.”

Yes, entirely, but it is not always possible to be confident that this happens.

One reason for using partner stretching, is that it is fun. It makes social contact, and also allows the person applying the stretch (the stretcher) to feel through tactile feedback what is going on in the stretchee’s body – and this is very educational, because the stretchee (the person being stretched) may be getting so many sensations at once, that they find it difficult to sort out exactly what is going on.

The excercises that I find NOT useful for partner stretches can I think be summarised as being the simple stretch of a single muscle or associated group of muscles. For instance, hamstring stretches. The stretchee on their own can apply as much force as needed (and indeed, easily too much) in these stretches. I find partner stretching counterproductive in these types of stretches. One issue is that the stretchee may worry about too much force being applied, no matter how good the partner feedback is.

The exercises where I find partner stretching USEFUL, seem to be those that involve complex joints, many muscles, and probably have a large fascia component. A great example is the hip flexor stretch – a complex joint, many muscles, a large fascia component. Also backbends (ALWAYS supported, so stop the spine crunching). This stretches the whole of the front of the body in a way that you cannot do on your own. And many more.

When we do these types of stretches in class, the members always enjoy them.

Jim.

Thank you for this view Jim! It makes sense - especially if I have a difficulty to relax and trust on a hamstring stretch with a partner. I will try the backbends and hip flexor ones with a partner!

[Kit_L]

18 hours ago, daisysheldon said:

This one didnt add! Tailbone is tilted back here 

Basically, there are two ways to get into side splits: if the feet are parallel, as yours are here, most people will need a massive hyperextension in the lumbar spine to get the legs apart. Having said this, though, there is also a strength dimension: the stronger you adductors get (and we have to include gracilis and the inner hamstring in this list), the further apart you will be able to get your legs. You will get to a point where in order to go further, though, you will have to anteriorly tilt the pelvis significantly. Study this image:

Here, the famous gymnast Mary Lou Retton is over 90° extended in the lumbar spine. This is one way.

The other way, as you demonstrate in the first image at https://kitlaughlin.com/forums/index.php?/topic/1858-procrastination-consistency-motivation/#findComment-24753, you externally rotate the thighs to the maximum, and get into side splits via gracilis and the hamstrings. In this approach, it's mainly the muscles at the back of the legs that limit you (the closer you get to full SS, of course, the adductors all get stretched, too.)

And with this approach as well, strength plays a significant role. If you practice this position and hold yourself up for time using the muscles at the back of your legs, while the legs are externally rotated to the maximum amount you can, then as the hamstrings, gracilis and the adductors get stronger, you will get lower and lower. This latter approach is what gave me the side splits you see in the book Stretching & flexibility. One is not better than the other – it all depends on the structure of your hip joint. HTH, KL

 

[Jim Pickles]

In relation to the lunge, as a preparation for the front splits, I strongly suggest that you clench up the glutes as much as possible (feel with your fingers, to check that all the muscles around the back of the buttock - inner as well as outer sides - are clenched as tightly as possible). This will help relax and open up the front of the hip. And hold it for a long time - at least 2 minutes, and then build up to longer. This will not only open up your front hip, but will strengthen and tone your glutes, a commonly underused muscle. I was taught this exercise by a practicing contortionist, and it transformed me - it changed my forward splits from something that I could only do occasionally and with a long warm up, to something that I could do as often as I liked, and with only a very very minimal preparation. I can now go into them cold if I want, but dont usually. It also helps if you raise your arms overhead and lean away from the hip you are stretching, as this will give an extra stretch to the psoas component (which runs from the front of the thigh bone onto the spine).

Jim.

[Kit_L]

7 hours ago, Jim Pickles said:

the psoas component (which runs from the front of the thigh bone onto the spine).

This (psoas) is the hardest of the hip flexors to stretch. As well, the extra "raise your arms overhead and lean away from the hip you are stretching" direction Jim gives really emphasises the fascial dimension (32 layers between the abdominals and the spine; it's everywhere!).

[daisysheldon]

On 2/9/2025 at 1:58 AM, Kit_L said:

Basically, there are two ways to get into side splits: if the feet are parallel, as yours are here, most people will need a massive hyperextension in the lumbar spine to get the legs apart. Having said this, though, there is also a strength dimension: the stronger you adductors get (and we have to include gracilis and the inner hamstring in this list), the further apart you will be able to get your legs. You will get to a point where in order to go further, though, you will have to anteriorly tilt the pelvis significantly. Study this image:

Here, the famous gymnast Mary Lou Retton is over 90° extended in the lumbar spine. This is one way.

The other way, as you demonstrate in the first image at https://kitlaughlin.com/forums/index.php?/topic/1858-procrastination-consistency-motivation/#findComment-24753, you externally rotate the thighs to the maximum, and get into side splits via gracilis and the hamstrings. In this approach, it's mainly the muscles at the back of the legs that limit you (the closer you get to full SS, of course, the adductors all get stretched, too.)

And with this approach as well, strength plays a significant role. If you practice this position and hold yourself up for time using the muscles at the back of your legs, while the legs are externally rotated to the maximum amount you can, then as the hamstrings, gracilis and the adductors get stronger, you will get lower and lower. This latter approach is what gave me the side splits you see in the book Stretching & flexibility. One is not better than the other – it all depends on the structure of your hip joint. HTH, KL

 

I see exactly what you mean.

 

How do you pick which type to train for? 

And is the second one practised with the toes off the floor and heels balancing?

[daisysheldon]

11 hours ago, Jim Pickles said:

In relation to the lunge, as a preparation for the front splits, I strongly suggest that you clench up the glutes as much as possible (feel with your fingers, to check that all the muscles around the back of the buttock - inner as well as outer sides - are clenched as tightly as possible). This will help relax and open up the front of the hip. And hold it for a long time - at least 2 minutes, and then build up to longer. This will not only open up your front hip, but will strengthen and tone your glutes, a commonly underused muscle. I was taught this exercise by a practicing contortionist, and it transformed me - it changed my forward splits from something that I could only do occasionally and with a long warm up, to something that I could do as often as I liked, and with only a very very minimal preparation. I can now go into them cold if I want, but dont usually. It also helps if you raise your arms overhead and lean away from the hip you are stretching, as this will give an extra stretch to the psoas component (which runs from the front of the thigh bone onto the spine).

Jim.

This is great advice, thank you. Will try it! Definitely sounds like the place I want to get to with the splits!

[Jim Pickles]

In relation to straddle splits - "How do you pick which type to train for?"

I go for the one that feels best for me - which for me means feet flat on the floor for support, feet pointing outwards as much as possible, knees rotated forward but upwards as much as possible (i.e. about 45 degrees upwards), and pelvis tilted forward a bit. It is said to vary between individuals, but I get the impression that a turnout rotation of 45 degrees (of the thigh bone on the pelvis) or so is enough to release the mobility of the hip bones (stopping the greater trochanter hitting the socket of the hip joint). Another factor is minimising the sideways force on the knees, as any stretching of the ligaments at the side of the knee can destabilise the knee joint - one of the most vulnerable joints in the body. The more the knees point up, the less the sideways force on the knees will be. But I think in the end, it depends on your own pattern of flexibility and strength.