Restarting dedicated flexibility work

[AlexanderEgebak]

12 hours ago, Gareth O Connor said:

Where do you think the tension comes from Alexander?

From a lifetime of swimming against the current of my true self, metaphorically speaking.

[Kit_L]

8 hours ago, AlexanderEgebak said:

From a lifetime of swimming against the current of my true self, metaphorically speaking.

So let it go, already!

The somatic and emotional work you mentioned in the earlier post can all be addressed, directly and indirectly, by developing a relaxation practice. I have a deep background in (and still run a practice in) stress management, and the advice that I continue to give you is based on excellent scientific and empirical work over many decades.

A question to ask yourself, I suggest, is what is the root of the incredible resistance you have to simply lying down for 20 minutes, listening to a step-by-step proven formula that relaxes you?

[Gareth O Connor]

The tension is probably from years of pressing down your emotions. You're an analytical man however the intellect can be used to distance oneself from one's feelings.. Freud called it intellectualisation

[Gareth O Connor]

Keep up the singing lessons,sing for the sheer enjoyment of singing don't do it for an instrumental purpose.

[Gareth O Connor]

What do you mean by swimming against the current of your true self?

[AlexanderEgebak]

On 1/16/2025 at 1:17 AM, Gareth O Connor said:

The tension is probably from years of pressing down your emotions. You're an analytical man however the intellect can be used to distance oneself from one's feelings.. Freud called it intellectualisation

I know, compartmentalization is something I am working on! I have affinity for being analytical, in its purest form still present without distance to my emotions, so thats what Im trying to connect to. Singing is one such way, singing for the purest joyful expression but also combined with a healthy and nerdy, perfectionistic mindset.

If swimming is the act of navigating through (a river of) life in all its forms, then swimming against the current is the action of using willpower to achieve goals not sufficiently aligned with desire, habits, emotions and internal motivation. If willpower is an expendable ressource to navigate less meaningful circumstances, and that entirely is whats keeping you afloat, you will eventually fatigue. In a sense, our desires, habits, emotions and internal motivations can be said to contain (a perspective of) our true self, and figuratively we can either drift along or "fight our current". Realizing that the river moves and changes regardless of our swimming  opens up to seeing the choice of swimming with or against our true selves.

In my current (no pun intended) context, I am exhausted of things that I "must do" that falls outside the 4 established factors of my true self. Letting go without using willpower is a skill I am still working on which is also why I am still hesitant of starting mindfullness practice. It will be forced, sporadic and draining to initiate. Too much resistance to the benefits I do perceive being pertained within the practice.

On another note my posterior tilt is improving more by days. I have less soreness around my spine, and during hip flexor stretches, split squats and pancake stretch I have way more control, can shift tension and make ad-hoc meaningful changes. I am still far from where I want to be but I appreciate starting to "lift the curse".

I had the flue recently which forced to make me sleep on my back, basically without turning all night. I lost a lot of tension which makes me conclude that I tend to sleep in weird and twisted shapes, nudged by the pelvis position and spinal tension I believe.

[Gareth O Connor]

You're doing well

[Gareth O Connor]

Regarding perfectionism,I struggle with it,I think we don't need to be perfect it is enough to be human

[Gareth O Connor]

Donald Winnicott the pediatrician and psychoanalyst said the true self is spontaneous and alive while the false self is compliant to the demands of other people while feeling empty and dead inside 

[AlexanderEgebak]

On 2/13/2025 at 10:53 PM, Gareth O Connor said:

Donald Winnicott the pediatrician and psychoanalyst said the true self is spontaneous and alive while the false self is compliant to the demands of other people while feeling empty and dead inside 

What you are describing aligns closely with the definitions of "ego", an illusion of the Self. If the true self is dynamic and unrestricted, the ego is maintaining a calcified and distorted version of the self, negotiated and perceived through interactions with others.
 

On 2/13/2025 at 10:42 PM, Gareth O Connor said:

Regarding perfectionism,I struggle with it,I think we don't need to be perfect it is enough to be human

We just need to "be". Likewise, striving for perfection can also be seen as a simple result of "being", if unpolluted by agency of the ego.

[Gareth O Connor]

Bruce Lee be like water