How to relax in stretches that don't use gravity?

[Taylor]

I've recently bought the second edition of Stretching & Flexibility and have been working through a bunch of the exercises.  Some of the exercises really click for me, and I feel very confident in how I am carrying out the C&R stretching procedure. These are the stretches that for lack of a better term I refer to as the ones that "use gravity", in the sense that you put yourself in a certain position and relax and gravity pulls you into the stretch.  Examples from the book would be:

3. Lying rotation

New 17. Lunge Hamstrings and variations solo

27. Partner backward bend over supports

There are other stretches in the book that for lack of a better term I refer to as the ones that "don't use gravity".  These are stretches where you are having to pull or straighten something in order to stretch another muscle.  Examples of these stretches would be:

1. Floor clasped feet middle and upper back

22. Lying hip (piriformis)

25. Standing suspended hip flexor

I am able to do these stretches and I believe I feel the targeted muscle being stretched but I am unsure how much I am actually relaxing while doing so.  To use the Standing suspended hip flexor as an example, you're instructed to tighten the abdominal muscles, and attempt to straighten a leg that doesn't want to be straightened.  By the end of these processes I feel like I'm tensing a large part of my body.  I can feel a stretch in the hip flexor but I wouldn't say I consider myself relaxed by any means when compared to a stretch like Lying rotation where I'm just lying there letting my leg sink lower with each breath.

Am I misunderstanding the notion of relaxing? I would describe myself as very inflexible and have been doing the program for about 3 months, is this confusion common for rookies such as myself?  Any tips of how to better understand these types of stretches and how to relax in them would be appreciated.  Thanks!

[Nathan]

Hi Taylor,

Welcome to the forums! I've moved your post to a more appropriate section.

5 hours ago, Taylor said:

Am I misunderstanding the notion of relaxing?

When you just hear "relax" it's easy to imagine turning into a big blob of goo on the floor as the ideal. Obviously this does not happen in real life, which is probably a good thing  We need some tension. Tension can be protective. The problem is when we have too much. So try thinking of relaxing as using only as much tension as absolutely necessary. If you've never been deeply relaxed, it will be hard to imagine what this feels like. That's why a lying relaxation (or similar) practice is a critical part of Stretch Therapy (search the forums for more info).

But no problem, you're on a journey, learning about your body-mind. Be curious and explore. You will learn to relax more in time. Try not to feel like you need to relax as much as [other time/stretch]. Simply try to relax more. You'll probably find you almost always can. And most of all, enjoy the journey 

[Kit_L]

@Nathan

2 hours ago, Nathan said:

That's why a lying relaxation (or similar) practice is a critical part of Stretch Therapy

Taylor, welcome.

Go to https://stretchtherapy.net/stretch-therapy-podcast/ and scroll down. Make sure you listen to the 'setup instructions' then pick any recording, download it to your phone, and find a place to practise. Relaxation is just a habit, but it is not a common one in our culture. It most definitely can be learned and experienced. As Nathan said, the relaxation practice a critical part of the system.