30 Days (at least) of Lying Relaxation

[anteriorankle]

Another relaxation last night. It was interrupted near the end but that's okay. It still felt pretty good from what I remember.

Day 20

A nice session. Probably the most heaviness I've felt across the whole body which was very pleasant. Breathing and saliva as always were problematic but it didn't detract as much as previous sessions. Quite a few distractions as well. I hope to do another tonight.

[anteriorankle]

Day 21

At my girlfriend's house, so did the practice on hard floor, which I think I prefer. One thing that has been progressing is the fact that I'm less uncomfortable to do the audible "Ahhhhhh"s in front of my girlfriend and other people. I smiled a bit during the first one but got it together by the last one. The practice gave me a deep feeling of relaxation/softness, so definitely one of the more pleasant sessions. Distractions, saliva and breath were problematic as usual but maybe a little better today. Still can't connect with a lot of parts of my body and I find the asymmetry quite interesting - for example, I can normally connect with the left side of my ribcage but not my right. Something I think I've forgotten to mention is my difficulty in feeling the breath on my nostrils, which I think is in part a poor sensitivity/lack of connection in the area and in part my suspected breathing 'issues'. Whether I focus really strongly or only put a little bit of attention on them, I still find it really, really difficult to notice the air contacting the nostrils.

[anteriorankle]

Day 22

Managed about 1.5 sessions today in total. The first one was feeling quite nice but then was interrupted about halfway through, which I'm glad I didn't really react badly to. The second one I just did now before bed which isn't ideal in terms of consistency (I normally do it around midday and it's almost midnight) but maybe it'll help my sleep. Wasn't terrible but wasn't amazing either - quite a lot of distractions probably due to tiredness, and some difficulty feeling sensations as strongly. However, still got a nice soft feeling and I'm happy to have done it.

[anteriorankle]

Day 23

A decent session, but struggled particularly with breath and saliva at some points. Distractions were also sometimes quite strong. More and more I'm trying to both slow down my movements and also be more subtle with them. I think I'm feeling now that tiny movements can achieve the same effects that larger movements would've previously achieved.

[anteriorankle]

Day 24

From what I remember, today's session was okay but nothing fantastic. I remember getting quite frustrated at my saliva and breath today as it is got really irritating and took away from the relaxation. I'd like to get another one in tonight.

[anteriorankle]

Did another relaxation last night but wasn't in a good mental space so it was very hard to focus and it didn't feel like I got much out of it.

Day 25

About the same as yesterday - decent but not amazing. Found it difficult to connect with sensations today. For example, some days when focusing on my hand after doing some of the activities like making a fist, etc, my hand comes alive in terms of the amount of sensations I can feel or at least the intensity of sensation (normally a huge amount of pleasant tingles). Today though, I could feel some tingles but that was about it, nothing intense. Also tried playing with tongue position but still swallowing/saliva was a nuisance. Right near the end did one of the gasp things I've mentioned, which I think almost relaxed me more after I exhaled from it.  

[anteriorankle]

Did a short one last night, I think it was fairly enjoyable.

Day 26

Feeling a bit of aversion towards the practices for some reason. Or at least I'm procrastinating starting them a little, whereas before I was a bit more consistent with what time I'd start the practice. Today I returned to the old script I was using I think because I wanted something shorter (which is most likely due to the aversion I felt) but also because I wanted to see how I responded to it. I didn't have the best sleep last night which I'm sure contributed to the many distractions I had, but there were also external distractions (my brother was being quite loud outside my room). The practice overall was okay, and I didn't get as frustrated by the right heel position, which is nice. However, I'm hoping for some deeper and more consistent sessions going forward. 

[anteriorankle]

Day 27

Did a longer one today. About a minute in I got a text on my phone which if I didn't check, it would've vibrated again. So I quickly dealt with that but didn't restart the practice - I just did the three starting breaths again, probably a bit too rushed this second time. From there it was going not too bad, quite a few distractions but decent relaxation. However, about halfway through the practice my brother was leaving the house and yelled from outside my door asking if I was home. As soon as I said "Yes", it completely took me out of the relaxed state I was in. Huge physical changes across the whole body happened immediately when I responded, despite nothing about my situation actually changing. At this point I felt myself getting extremely extremely frustrated, battling thoughts of being pissed off, the session being a waste of time because it was interrupted and other thoughts of, "Now I have to restart" or "Fuck this, now I don't even feel relaxed". I tried to push past that and not get carried away by the frustration. In time I did settle into relaxation again and the thoughts died down a bit. It's hard to comment on the quality of this particular session but I'd say that despite the interruptions, I did relax at least a little and felt some nice tingles. 

[anteriorankle]

Did one last night - pretty decent from what I remember.

Day 28

Had to do the practice later than usual and I was quite tired. In addition, I'd been in quite a negative headspace, so there were some factors not in my favour. I'm at my girlfriend's house so did the practice on hard floor which I normally enjoy but today my heel was quite painful and it was only getting more painful during the adjustments so I just left it. In time, as usual, it became less of a focus/problem. In terms of physical relaxation today, I felt quite nice, however, I almost fell asleep a couple of times and the negative headspace was causing distractions. After coming out of the session I felt a bit groggy which is most likely due to the tiredness, I assume. I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment and being aware of my negativity is not changing the fact that I'm feeling negative, unfortunately. I hope to do another session tonight.

Also, just to note, I have been varying the scripts daily. In the beginning of this log, I stuck to the same recording every day, but from the point I decided to change I didn't just change to a different one that I'm repeating, I've instead just picked a random one every time. 

[anteriorankle]

I think last night's one was okay but the negative headspace caused distractions.

Day 29

I had work today so again the practice was done later than usual. I was quite tired and my headspace is still not the best so the session had quite a lot of distractions and did not feel as effective as it can be. I'm really hoping to be in a better headspace going forward so that the practices are also improved. 

[anteriorankle]

Same trend for last night, it was alright but I was distracted.

Day 30

More procrastination/aversion. Today I did a longer one. Overall it was okay but I was quite cold and there were a lot more distractions. I'm finding myself not as deeply engaged/focused as I used to be when doing the practice and the results recently haven't been the best, quite consistently (I think, but haven't read back to actually see if that's the case). Today also marks the last day of the original 30-day 'challenge' I wanted to do. Unfortunately there aren't any big revelations or noticeable changes that have come, however, I do think I should persist with this. I'm hoping to push this to 90 days but we will see how it goes.

[anteriorankle]

I think last night's session was actually a little better than previous ones.

Day 31

Interesting one today. Picked a random script and this one happened to include an eye open section, which was new. I struggled with the suggestion to only half open my eyes and had to go the full way. Also at points my eyes were watery, but for the most part it wasn't too bad. Overall it was an okay session, still in the same lack of deepness/enjoyment that has been trending but I think it was a bit better at the very least. 

[anteriorankle]

I don't remember last night's session but I definitely did one. Trying to consistently do two a day.

Day 32

Another script I hadn't done before with some different instructions. I quite enjoyed it. A lot of tingles everywhere which is always pleasant. I've noticed that after being on the floor for some time, whilst I gain awareness of a bunch of different sensations, I also lose some awareness. For example, in time I'll start to have huge tingles/sensations in my hands but I won't be able to feel/connect with the contact point between my hand and the floor. It's hard to describe but it's like I can't pinpoint it, as though it's gone numb, even though I feel a range of sensations. Same with my heels, where initially it's impossible not to feel my heels touching the floor, but over time tracking that feeling is actually quite tough even though my feet will have increased overall in terms of the amount of sensation.  

[anteriorankle]

From what I remember of last night's session, it was okay but nothing special.

Day 33

The practice and everything surrounding it is feeling more and more like a chore. I'm sure this is correlated with me not being in the best headspace recently, but at the same time my baseline 'good' headspace is far from good anyway. There's no excitement to do the practice, and I've been putting off posting the log until I'm really bored, instead of doing it immediately after the practice. Despite this (or maybe, as a direct result of this), I will push on until 90 days.

Today was flooded with distractions, possibly due to tiredness but there were also a bunch of other factors. An okay level of relaxation, but again, just not great.

[Dave_H]

Congrats on your 30 days! I just completed mine for the month of July. I've done the relaxation sporadically in the past, but never consistently. I decided to just try it for a month straight as suggested. It's definitely becoming a habit. The three main things I've learned from the relaxation practice are: 

1. How active my inner voice is (especially after a day at work). I'm getting better, but I find it challenging to pay complete attention for the entire exercise without my mind wandering off to other thoughts.
2. It's a great gauge of whether I'm getting enough sleep. If I'm well rested I can stay awake through the entire relaxation practice without issue. If I'm not sufficiently rested I sometimes fall asleep during the practice.
3. The relaxation practice is directly related to the relaxation you are trying to achieve during stretching practice. I think the release you get when you vocalize the "ahhhh" at the beginning of the relaxation practice is the release you're looking for when you have a muscle under stretch.

As for your tingling during the practice, try a blanket underneath your body. I have a carpeted area to practice, but I still lay on a thinly folded up yoga blanket during practice. I also place a pillow under my head and under the back of my legs during the practice. I have trouble laying flat on the floor comfortably, so those permit me to concentrate on the practice rather than uncomfortable feelings in my body.

[anteriorankle]

12 hours ago, Dave_H said:

Congrats on your 30 days! I just completed mine for the month of July. I've done the relaxation sporadically in the past, but never consistently. I decided to just try it for a month straight as suggested. It's definitely becoming a habit. The three main things I've learned from the relaxation practice are: 

1. How active my inner voice is (especially after a day at work). I'm getting better, but I find it challenging to pay complete attention for the entire exercise without my mind wandering off to other thoughts.
2. It's a great gauge of whether I'm getting enough sleep. If I'm well rested I can stay awake through the entire relaxation practice without issue. If I'm not sufficiently rested I sometimes fall asleep during the practice.
3. The relaxation practice is directly related to the relaxation you are trying to achieve during stretching practice. I think the release you get when you vocalize the "ahhhh" at the beginning of the relaxation practice is the release you're looking for when you have a muscle under stretch.

As for your tingling during the practice, try a blanket underneath your body. I have a carpeted area to practice, but I still lay on a thinly folded up yoga blanket during practice. I also place a pillow under my head and under the back of my legs during the practice. I have trouble laying flat on the floor comfortably, so those permit me to concentrate on the practice rather than uncomfortable feelings in my body.

You should join me to 90 days. I agree and have experienced all these points. With the tingling, that is typically what happens when my body relaxes and it's normally pleasant, but I think the cold weather makes it a little less pleasant (still not unpleasant). I normally use a blanket over me at my girlfriend's house to keep myself warm, but I can't do that at home. I'm interested to see how it will feel as the weather heats up. And in terms of the uncomfortability, I only really get it in my right heel and sometimes my head, but I think for the most part I actually prefer to do the practice completely flat. 

[anteriorankle]

Last night's practice was pretty crappy from what I remember.

Day 34

Not too bad. It was one of the scripts where Kit doesn't completely guide you, but just gives a 'skeleton' of the practice and you do most of it yourself. At a certain point distractions got bad but there were also times where I focused quite well. Still not enjoying the practices as much, but at least it wasn't a terrible session. I think I've mentioned this before but my experience with the practice is heavily correlated with my general mental headspace, and since I'm having some life difficulties it's no surprise the practices are lacking too.  

[anteriorankle]

I think last night's practice was decent.

Day 35

Today's first session was interrupted by my girlfriend's dad walking in the room and also my girlfriend having to grab something from near me. Both things took me out of the practice and made me laugh a little and struggle to take it seriously/focus, which is something I haven't struggled with for a while (I'm pretty sure I mention somewhere here that I started to care less about it and could focus more). I didn't stop the practice and just tried to relax as much as I can despite the hiccups. Overall it was actually decent, though, I didn't consider a proper practice for that day and planned to do another.

The next practice I did just now which is just before I'm gonna sleep but I found myself struggling with the smiling and being able to focus internally. I also was getting bothered by things my girlfriend was doing that would cause small noises and take me out of the practice, and as a result the session wasn't as good as the earlier one today, even with two big interruptions.

[Dave_H]

On 8/13/2020 at 10:57 PM, anteriorankle said:

You should join me to 90 days.

Yes, that is my goal. Since I'm already 1.5 months along no sense in stopping now!

[anteriorankle]

Day 36

Not too bad. A little reluctance on the initial exhales because my family was home but from there got to a decent level of relaxation and focus. It was one of the scripts where you go around the body and contract muscles hard, then let the effort go, which I tend to enjoy. Got some strong distractions maybe around halfway and through to the end. I could also tell that I was a bit tired and I think this was making it harder to focus. I'll most likely do another one tonight.

[anteriorankle]

Last night's session was decent from what I recall. Don't think anything significant stood out.

Day 37

Did a longer one today, which was pretty good for the most part, though I still feel I'm not getting as much out of the practices as I used to. Saliva/swallowing has actually been okay recently and today was the same until a point in the session where Kit said to focus on wetness/dampness. I was quite uncomfortable for a little while and to constantly swallow but it eventually passed. Focus was decent overall but got worse towards the end and distractions picked up.

[anteriorankle]

Another not bad one last night. It was the short one from Charlottesville. The point of it was to be a quick refresher but I still feel Kit was speaking way too fast and it was rushed, which I think I've noticed with a few of the older recordings. Nevertheless it was pretty nice. The idea/aim was to feel energised afterwards, but I felt tired more than anything (not really in a bad way, but just the slight grogginess).

Day 38

Today's session was also pretty good. Distractions weren't too frequent or intense and I achieved a decent level of relaxation. 

[anteriorankle]

I don't remember much of last night's session, but I think it was pretty good and made it quite tired as it was just before bed.

Day 39

Pretty enjoyable session today, felt warm and relaxed. A few negative distractions but eventually was able to focus.

[anteriorankle]

Day 40

One of the better sessions recently. Don't have any significant insights but it felt quite nice. I was a bit tired and my hands got cold as well but I still achieved some nice relaxation.

[anteriorankle]

Day 41

Another pretty good one today. Was going really well until my dad came home and said something to me through my door, which I was anticipating. Luckily I didn't need to respond, so while it did negatively influence the session, it wasn't bad as it could've been. Then he left the house a few minutes later which I was also anticipating and said something to me as he was leaving. I still continued with the session and reached a nice level of relaxation but distractions became very strong and frequent, I'd say mostly due to the interruptions from my dad and also not having the best sleep last night.