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anteriorankle

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anteriorankle last won the day on September 24 2020

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About anteriorankle

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  1. The past two sleeps have been okay. Anger and agitation hasn't been too strong but there have been a few moments where they've arisen.
  2. Not the best sleep last night. Not too many moments of anger but I think that's because I didn't interact with many people today.
  3. A little bit of a better sleep last night. Some moments of anger/frustration/agitation at different points today.
  4. A pretty terrible sleep last night and the usual anger and agitation at times today. The sleep was particularly bad but this does happen and the increased heat, daylight savings and being in a different bed all likely contributed there.
  5. Thank you for the message, I appreciate the thought. There's a lot to comment on but I'll try to condense it. First, I asked my girlfriend if she's noticed any changes in me and she said no. She does, however, believe that my lack of 'success' is because of the attitude I developed toward the practice, where it became stressful to squeeze the relaxation into some days and I would feel a lot of pressure to do it as though it was a chore, rather than always being excited to do it. Second, I will get round to reading the log but I believe the insights and changes you are referring to a
  6. Last night I did some lying meditation without any audio - I just lay down, focused on my breath and tried to relax for 15 minutes. It was okay, but tiredness was tough to contend with. Day 90 I remember today getting to a point in the practice and thinking to myself, "Oh man, this is only the halfway point, there's still so much to go" in the sense of being bored/impatient, for lack of a better description. The physical relaxation felt okay. Today's session could be regarded as having reached the second goal I had when starting this log. Unfortunately, I don't have any big insi
  7. Day 89 There was the typical dissatisfaction with the right heel position today. Itchiness was a problem again, which maybe is because of the weather getting warmer here, but I'm not sure. Distractions were pretty strong because of a terrible sleep last night. However, the level of relaxation was decent.
  8. Day 88 Today was okay. The practice involved tensing and then relaxing various body parts. I struggled a little with my right arm when trying to contract the forearm, bicep and tricep simultaneously, but had more success with my left arm. I think when tensing my quads I find it very difficult to completely relax them afterwards and it always feels like contracting them actually brought more tension to the area, which seemed to happen today. I was also a little agitated with my headphone cables resting on my face today, particularly at the beginning, but it wasn't too bad. Distractions wer
  9. Day 87 I tried to take the above advice and put a small pillow under my heels, which I do think took away from potential discomfort but also added a strange feeling (not necessarily bad or uncomfortable) because of my legs being slightly raised. I think I'll just have to find something that doesn't raise my legs as much and that should do the trick. The practice today had a section where you open your eyes, which was a bit challenging for me, particularly when doing the body scan as I found it more difficult to feel the mentioned parts. The level of relaxation was okay but I think the ope
  10. Day 86 Quite a late one today again as my schedule has been a bit all over the place. Tiredness was causing some distractions and making it tough to focus at times, but I did achieve a decent level of relaxation.
  11. There are quite a few reasons - some being laziness and the ease of just getting started without any additional equipment, others being that overall I seem to connect better with some sensations when on hard floor. I only do the practice on hard floor 2-4 times a week when staying at my partner's house so I see it as an opportunity to vary the practice up. In addition, I cannot rest in most positions on hard floor due to quite intense pain from any bony part touching the ground (for example, sitting cross-legged really hurts my ankles from the pressure of the bones on the ground, while everyon
  12. Day 85 Another not good sleep last night which meant a lot of distractions and fighting to stay awake. From the start of the practice my heels hurt from them pressing into the hard floor. In time, they got better but over time the pressure of my head on the floor became more and more painful.
  13. Day 84 Had an even more terrible sleep than usual last night and had to do today's practice quite late so distractions were unsurprisingly very prominent. The physical relaxation was okay, except initially I did have some heel pain on the hard floor.
  14. Day 83 On hard ground today, which is always a different experience compared to when I do it on carpet. I was quite agitated by the sensation of one of the headphones in my ear and the way it was touching my face, which is not uncommon. All efforts to try and relax and not be bothered by it don't seem to help, which is frustrating, especially when I rationally know that I don't have to be agitated by something so small.
  15. I think there were quite a few distractions last night but I don't really remember. Day 82 Nothing special today. Distractions were tough at times.
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